Second Chances

You just received a 40% on a test that is worth 30% of your grade. What is your reaction? Some of you would start to make a list of things you could work on, then come up with a plan, and get to work. Some of you would simply decide that this grade is a commentary on a fundamental flaw in your character, and simply give up, assuming you could never do better. The latter group might even think that there is no coming back from such a monumental mistake, that nothing you can do will ever make up for it. For you, there is no second chance.

But what if you could erase that grade? What if you could erase anything that might stand in your way of getting 100% on that next test? What if you could be assured that your hard work would pay off? There is such a second chance, you can erase all your mistakes and you can be assured that your hard work pays off. I know that because that is just what I have learned to believe recently, and it works.

This doesn't just apply to grades. I have struggled with friendships in the past, assuming that something I have said or done has ended all possibility of ever continuing that relationship. Part of that comes from experience and part of that comes from poor self-evaluations. But all of it is false.

The reality is that there is truth and there is error. And the truth of the matter is that one mistake does not do us in for life, let alone eternity. My failed relationships (we all have them, by the way), and my failed tests and my failed attempts at one thing or another are not footnotes in my book of life that read, "The moment Aubri screwed herself royally." They are moments when my emotions got the best of me, or when I didn't know something that would have been useful. They were moments of indecision or moments when a series of irritants blew up in my face to produce a wholly undesirable response in me. They weren't my finest moments, but neither were they my undoing. They weren't me. Who I am inside can change. I get to learn from my mistakes. I get to try to be better. I get to learn from the One who knows my heart as well as the hearts of those around me. I can't change other people or read their minds. But I can learn about myself.

My message is one of hope, and love. You are not royally screwed, no matter what you've done. You are still learning, still growing, and still capable of change. Anyone who doesn't understand or who is not inclined to wait around while you do, forgive them. It's not a commentary on you, or them, either. It simply is. The best way to begin is to let God in. If you need it, the Addiction Recovery Program of the LDS Church is available and amazing. You can find the twelve step manual, as well as other resources here: http://addictionrecovery.lds.org/?lang=eng. Let God in. Not just slightly or tritely, but completely and sincerely. Only then can you learn what to replace the negative beliefs with. For a long time I felt hopeless, I wanted to change but I didn't know what to change into. Now I know.

A long time ago, I wrote about armor, which is where the title of my blog comes from. We will, inevitably get chinks in our armor, because we are actively fighting this war. But they don't have to stay. We know an incredible Blacksmith, who can hammer them out and make our armor shiny and new again. By doing these things, what's how we do it. There is no other way, but there is indeed a Way.